Rest on Purpose: Navigating Perimenopause Stress and Burnout

Here’s the thing: women over 40 are running themselves into the ground. I see it every single week in the clinic. You sit down across from me, exhausted, foggy, moody, convinced that the answer is a supplement, a stricter diet, or some expensive “miracle” powder you saw on Instagram.

But let me be blunt: it’s not always about what you put on your plate — it’s about giving yourself permission to stop, rest, and bloody breathe.

The Burnout Trap

Most women I work with are carrying everything.

Careers.

Kids (maybe little ones, maybe hormonal teenagers — or both).

Ageing parents. Relationships. House admin. The family pet.

And on top of that? The invisible, relentless, soul-sucking mental load: remembering birthdays, buying the school socks, keeping an eye on who’s out of milk.

And what do you do? You push through. Because that’s what women have been conditioned to do — just keep going, keep pleasing, keep saying yes.

Well, let me tell you: perimenopause does not care. In fact, it thrives on that chaos. Burnout and hormone shifts are the ultimate toxic duo.

Here’s what it looks like:

• Cortisol is running the show. Your stress hormone is on a 24/7 loop. You feel wired, tired, and like your fuse is about three millimetres long.
  
  
  
  

• Sleep? Forget it. High cortisol shuts down melatonin, and suddenly 3am is your new witching hour.
  
  
  
  

• Hormones go rogue. Hot flushes, mood swings, heavy bleeding — all dialled up to max when you’re running on fumes.
  
  
  
  

• Your nervous system doesn’t get the memo. You’ve been in “go mode” for so long that “rest” feels like a foreign language.
  
  
  
  

And still, women blame themselves. “Maybe if I ate cleaner. Maybe if I tried harder.” No. What you need isn’t another green smoothie. You need to drop the martyr act and rest.

Why Supplements Alone Won’t Save You

I’ll say it louder for the people in the back: you cannot out-supplement burnout.

Magnesium won’t undo a 60-hour work week. Ashwagandha won’t fix the resentment of being the family’s emotional punching bag. Omega-3 won’t cancel out the fact that you’re last on your own list.

Yes, food matters. Yes, nutrients matter. But let’s be clear — rest is the nutrient nobody wants to prescribe, because it means admitting you can’t do it all.

Boundaries: The Real Medicine

Women have been fed this toxic fairytale that being endlessly available makes us “good.” Good mothers, good partners, good employees, good daughters.

Well, you know what? It doesn’t make us good. It makes us exhausted, resentful, and sick.

Here’s what actually moves the needle: boundaries. Saying no. Choosing yourself — loudly, unapologetically, and repeatedly.

Here’s how you start:

• Bin the martyr badge. Being exhausted isn’t noble. It’s a health crisis.
  
  
  
  

• Take micro-breaks. Five minutes to breathe or do nothing is not lazy. It’s nervous system rehab.
  
  
  
  

• Dump the mental load. Write it down, delegate it, or let it drop. You are not the family PA.
  
  
  
  

• Switch off tech. No one needs your midnight replies. Your brain deserves quiet.
  
  
  
  

• Prioritise joy on purpose. Not because you “earned it,” but because it’s essential. Biochemically, joy lowers cortisol, balances the nervous system, helps digestion, and takes the edge off hormonal chaos. Translation? Joy drops cortisol faster than any pill.
  
  
  
  

Prioritise joy on purpose

The Ripple Effect of Rest

Here’s the part no one talks about: when women rest, the whole damn world runs better.

You sleep. You stop snapping at everyone. Your cycles aren’t as chaotic. Your energy actually comes back. You feel like you again — only stronger, calmer, more grounded.

And guess what? Families benefit. Workplaces benefit. Relationships benefit. Because when women stop running on empty, everything improves.

My Ranty Take

I’m done watching brilliant women burn themselves out because they think saying yes is the only way to be valued. I’m done watching perimenopause symptoms spiral because no one told you that stress is gasoline on the fire.

So here it is: rest is not selfish — it’s survival.

If you’re over 40, stop waiting for permission. Stop apologising for being tired. Stop telling yourself you’ll rest “when things calm down.” Spoiler: they won’t.

The most radical, health-saving thing you can do right now is to rest on purpose. To say no. To draw the boundary. To prioritise joy like your hormones, your nervous system, and your whole damn future depend on it.

Because in many ways, they do.